Monday, August 15, 2005

I'm a Vicar...and I'm a little scared!

I’m a vicar now! I have a lot more responsibilities, people to visit, sermons to write, Bible studies to lead, oh, and my bishop is leaving in a week and a half for two weeks in Russia. It’s great, right?
I’ll be honest, I am scared to death of all the stuff that lies before me. I am excited about it and I know it will be a great experience and I love the town and the church and everything else we’ve encountered up to now, but I am scared! What if I mess up? What if I forget someone or something? What if someone dies? I know that there is a pastor who can help me in all these circumstances, but I’m still scared. I guess it’s the fear of the unknown. Seminary just can’t prepare someone for all the experiences one will encounter in the parish. That is, of course, the reason for vicarage, but I’m just a little uneasy. I don’t like messing up, especially when I am in charge.

So, what will I do if I mess up? I will give thanks to the Lord for He is good and His steadfast love endures forever! If I forget someone or something? I will give thanks to the Lord for He is good and His steadfast love endures forever! If someone dies? I will give thanks to the Lord for He is good and His steadfast love endures forever!

What it all comes down to, and what I have to remember is that it is not about me and what I do. It is all about God and what He has done for us in and through Christ. I will mess up a lot, but Christ be praised! I give thanks that it is by grace through faith, not by my talents as a vicar or lack thereof, that I have been given the free gift of salvation, forgiveness of sins and the ministry of reconciliation.

I am a vicar now! To God be all the glory now and ever and unto the ages of ages.
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Oh Lord, help me to remember to give You all thanks, honor and praise in all I do. You have established the ministry of reconciliation and have given me the gift of participating in that ministry. You will be my Guide and Comfort. You will be my Good Shepherd and lead me in Your paths of righteousness for Your namesake. I turn all my shortcomings and fears over to You. I thank You, Holy Trinity, for uplifting me with the peace that surpasses all human understanding. Glory be to the Father, and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, One God now and forever!


Brian D. said...

Congratulations. May God bless you in your new task.

Paul T. McCain said...

Thank God that you have already taken the most important step you'll ever take on your road to becoming a pastor: you've realized that you are afraid. That's a good thing. None of the Lord's men ever were called to serve Him without feeling fear at the prospect of an unholy man serving a holy God, serving Holiness Himself: Moses, Elijah, Elisha, Jeremiah, Micah, Jonah, Peter "Lord, I believe help my unbelief" himself, Paul, etc.

You are in very good company, the only company you want to be in.

Have nothing to do with those among your classmates, and you know who they are, who are going into the ministry as arrogant know-it-alls who are just "putting in their time" at the seminary in order to allow them to get out and start "doing ministry" the way *they* know it should be done.

God bless your vicarage and God bless you!