IT'S NOT FRIENDS AND FAMILY! YOU ARE SELLING TIRES!!
I laughed at the ridiculousness of this statement, but how many times do we do the same thing in the church. Churches and well-meaning pastors advertise that their church will give purpose, fill needs, give you your best life, and even friends and family, but this is NOT what the church does.
The Church gives God's Word and His Sacraments. Just as everyone needs tires, but does not always appreciate them, the Church gives what everyone needs, but that holy simplicity is not always appreciated.
What is it again that a theologian (or a tire salesman) of glory do? Oh yeah, they call the good bad and the bad good, kinda like saying tires are about friends and family.